Toxic

I read this article from the NY Tims a few weeks ago about the research that has recently been published on the damage stress does on baby brains. The research, based on two decades of research done by the American Pediatrics Association finds that stress that occurs from the pre natal period to early childhood leaves lasting impacts on people.  And the word stress is fairly loosely defined.

I'm still regularly running into people, APs, fellow teachers, teachers of my children, and friends that are dismissive or find my very brief conversations about some of our daily struggles overly dramatic.  And they do seem to be just that sometimes.  How is it that a child, my child is so sad and hurt 4 years later, from something happened before her current memory was in place? Sometimes I feel as though I'm over reacting.  And then reality hits with a rage or a tantrum, a deep sadness or the inability to express feelings that clearly run deep.  I know that I'm not over dramatic and that the research that the APA has done has deep meaning in our house.

This past week I took 40 students on a 3-college visit that culminated in a day of skiing.  For many of the students it was a first glimpse at college.  What that leaving home or that next step in their education might be.  The resulting conversations ranged from "I couldn't go that far away (3 hours)" to "I can totally see myself here."  Lots of the conversations seemed to focus on the child's current state of happiness and then also what they hoped for themselves. What they hoped to do differently or the same as their parents/siblings/cousins/friends. What they hoped to learn from mistakes/successes/money spent/jobs gotten. Past experiences were playing a part in future dreams.

I returned home to 5 days worth of tantrums and anger from C. She finally laid down tonight angry and feeling alone.  I am sad for her.  Sad that her past experiences are shaping a piece of her future.  And I can't change it. I can be part of it.  I can acknowledge it.  I can help her heal parts of it. But, her sadness will impact her in some way, for her life.

Fav Foto Viernes: Rosa

  

This week's theme is Pink! Interesting, since there is some dynamic and

 disappointing news in the way of Pink at the moment.

But I was actually thinking more along the lines of...

... these pink cheeks. She held on tight after I got home from a 4 day college visit trip with 40 students.

...and these pink cheeks after skiing in 20 degrees (downright balmy on the North Shore) with 35 mile an hour winds.  There was a moment or two where I was going down the hill, but barely moving because of the wind coming up.

I have loved doing FFF for a while, but I think it may just need to be passed to another blogger.  If you have any interest in taking it over, I would be happy to hand over the reins.  Sarah started this ages ago and Hannah did a beautiful job taking it over.  I would love to pass it off to another momma.

How are you spending your week? Valentine's Day plans? Love it or leave it?

Link up, leave some love and enjoy your weekend!

Fav Foto Viernes: Que Usted Elije

This week's theme is You Choose!

J. turns 6 tomorrow.  I'm not even sure how that is possible! She wanted sunflower everything for her birthday and we did just that.

J. is joyful, slow to smile but quick to laugh, has beautiful dimples and cares deeply about other people.
She worries and is meticulous about the details. She is curious, but also guarded.  She is strong and can run and jump and determined to keep up with the best of them - if not beat them. She is graceful and polite and wants to do well at everything she tries.

Happy Birthday J!

What did you choose? What are you looking forward to enjoying in February? How are you making your New Year's resolution or thought be more active?

Next week's theme with be Rosa/Pink.

Link up, leave some love and enjoy your weekend!

Monday Meditation: Our Work

Sent to me this morning from my sister who is working on a degree in Naturopathy.

“The infusion of soul-fire into our own ideas, our own lives, the lives of those we touch,

that is our work.

The shooing of the soul to its home,

that is our work.

The releasing of a shower of sparks to fill the day, and creating a light so we can find our way through the night,

that is our work.”

-Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run with the Wolves

Sunny

J. wanted a sunflower cake (thankfully no people or Disney representations.)

We did well.

Her actual birthday isn't until next weekend, so we'll do the 6 year old friends thing today and wait until next weekend for the family celebrations.

Fav Foto Viernes: Invierno

This week's theme, appropriately with -11 degree weather (-32 degrees with windchill) is Winter.

Unfortunately I have no snow pictures to show for it.

We have no snow.

Its the oddest winter and the girls have fantastic new sleds which are still boxed up ready for any hint of flurries.

So instead of crazy sled pics, or lovely, bright snow pictures, we have indoor, comfy clothes pictures.

Watching Shrinky Dinks - seriously the best addition to our winter crafts this year.

Playing "el tren" and switching off who is the conductor.

Jammies and robes and cuddlies.

My apologies for the poor photos - I take cute shots of my kidds, for me, to document time well spent.  But of all the things I profess and can attest to being good at - taking pictures is not on of them.

My apologies.

How are you spending your coldest days? What do like the best about winter? The least?

Link up, leave some love and enjoy (warmly) your weekend.

Monday Meditation: "The Time Is Now"

On Friday, a former colleague posted on FB about how he felt alone among his colleagues in his reminder to students about the upcoming MLK holiday. He was thanked by a student for his encouragement to do something good. He made the choice to be present and mindful and pass that along to his students.


All day today I listened to bits and pieces that NPR had on about the holiday. Their final piece this evening, while I was fixing dinner, was about how teachers struggle to make it fresh and new for their students each year - not just the holiday, but to make the civil rights struggle current and relevant. Each teacher talked about how they worked to make it current.  A final interview with one black teacher said that she thought that only black teachers could specifically teach to the urgency of MLK day.  I bristled at that thought. It made me, at least in her eyes, or maybe in many, unable to reach students. And she was right.


On Friday, in my rush to get things done and almost the passing over of the three day weekend, I reminded my students to take their instruments home, to please practice, to turn in their mid term assignments, but I neglected to mention anything about the urgency, relevancy or currency of the MLK holiday.


Its been a really crummy kindergarten year for J.  At least in the sense that the magic and joy in that first real year of school is missing.  Its no ones fault, but she is not coming home glowing with excitement about reading or fascinated by any one unit, skill or friend. Sometime two months ago we started hearing bits and pieces of some peer drama.  Some back and forth about not liking to play with each other, not sharing, maybe some pushing, and definitely some unkind words. Sometime last week it went from some unkind words to "I don't like your brown skin" and "your sisters are not your real sisters." Words that don't come from many 5 year old mouths freely, in my opinion. Words that probably wouldn't have been that addressed had a parent or teacher been vigilant in their teaching. Kids don't just try those words on for size to see what they do.


When we formed our family so that skin color didn't match I lost the ability to be complacent about social justice, equity amongst all and education - good education, for each child.  For my child, I don't get to forget. I don't get to be too busy.  Its white privilege to forget about MLK day. The black teacher who said that she can teach her students better about Martin Luther King Jr., civil rights and civil disobedience is right. She can teach it better, because she can't forget. As a mother of brown children, as a teacher of all kinds of students, I should not be allowed to forget either.


"We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children." Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. 1963


Now is the time. The day passed today, but I can teach it tomorrow. I will parent it often. I can address it daily.